TFG BIG 2012

  The last four days have been such a whirlwind, but a very blessed and rejuvenating whirlwind at that(may sound ironic, I know).  Monday morning, five of us from SPEC loaded up the car and headed for the rail station. We met up with about 45 other TFG (Time For God) volunteers from the London area and then hopped on the coach and headed for Wales for the TFG BIG Conference.  It's called BIG because it's all of the TFG volunteers in the UK that gather together for a chance to meet the other volunteers, who come from all over the world, that are in lots of different placements all over the UK.  Last year's conference was one of the highlights of my year and I couldn't wait to get back to Cefn Lea(about 4 1/2 hours from London) the beautiful conference centre in Newtown, Wales. (Random sidenote: my dad was born in New Town, North Dakota. Crazy!) The main building where all the sessions and worship was held is big and beautiful yet comfortable and cozy. There are about 20 quaint chalets that have 6 rooms each and that's where we slept each night.

Cefn Lea main lodge

   However, this year was quite a different experience. First of all, I didn't know anyone when I got there except the other four from SPEC whereas last year I knew about 20 people when I got there. Of course I knew most of the TFG Staff but I was also kind of disappointed that two of the staff members that I got to know really well last year weren't able to make it this time.  Yes, I'll admit that it was probably quite a good thing I didn't know many others beforehand because it forced me to get to meet lots of new people instead of just sticking with the ones I already knew.  The other 4 from SPEC knew quite a few people already because they'd all had a conference together back in October where they met all the other first-year volunteers.  It was quite fun actually, because then they introduced me to quite a few people and it was really cool to see them interact with others from their home countries.  With Malte from Germany, Min Sun from South Korea, Aurelie from Belguim, and Bernie from Hungary, I got to meet quite a wonderful mix of people.
   I also found it quite interesting actually because there were a lot of Americans there, which I wasn't expecting.  Last year it was just our YAGM group of 9 plus maybe 4 or 5 others. Out of all the countries represented, Germany came in first with 28 volunteers, and America took second with 22 volunteers, with just 10 of them in YAGM and the rest only through Time For God.
   The four days at Cefn Lea were spent relaxing, reflecting, rejuvenating, listening, singing, worshiping, praying, learning and just hanging out and talking. While most of the other volunteers had a choice to participate in drama, art, movie, or music sessions, those of us in TFG+ (which included all this years' YAGM and a few other girls who've been here since last Spring-all of us a bit older than the other TFG volunteers) had our own session where we focused more on reflecting deeper about our experience so far, we spent time just listening to each other and to God, and we looked more into vocation and our callings. I really enjoyed the time I had with the 10 YAGM girls from this year.  I often found myself thinking back to where I was at that time last year as far as my faith journey and how I felt in my work.  They had lots of questions about why I decided to come back for another year and how I made it happen.  A few of them said that they're seriously considering coming back for a second year but they're not sure if it's possible and a lot of things would have to fall into place for them. I told them, "Trust me. If it's meant to be, things will fall into place. And then you will know that's exactly where you're supposed to be."  I know putting that kind of faith in God about your future is much easier said than done, but I felt that my experience is a true testimony to how if you fully trust, you will be guided to where you are meant to be.
  For a majority of the conference, I ended up hanging out with Malte and some of the guys from Germany.  Boy, do they know how to have a good time. I don't think I've laughed that much in a long time.  Most of them have known each other for almost a year as they had their first interviews for the program last February.  Even though they'd already formed pretty strong friendships, they welcomed me in just like I was one of the guys, which was what I'm used to really.  TFG often encourages international volunteers to speak English as much as they can at these conferences because then people don't feel too left out if they don't understand German, or Hungarian or South Korean(or whatever the language).  However, there were quite a few times where I myself in a group where I was the only one who had English as their first language and was the only one not participating in the conversation simply because I couldn't understand what the heck was going on.  I did take German my first year at university but unfortunately the class was at 8 am every day of the week, which means I really didn't retain that much(probably not the best choice for my first year of school).  So I could pick up little bits and pieces but mostly I just found myself smiling and nodding.  A few times when I found myself just sitting there, trying to figure out if they were talking about food or sports(which were two of the most common topic with those guys), I realized that was probably a lot of what most other YAGM went through last year in their countries.  As YAGM sends volunteers to about 8 different countries each year, UK is one of the few where English is the most common language.  I also realized that the feeling I was having was probably the feeling a lot of the German guys had in their own placements at the beginning. I will say I actually quite enjoyed it(most the time) because I've been wanting to work on my German and even after just four days with them, I feel like I've recovered a lot of the knowledge I'd lost of the language in the past 4 years.  Through my travels over the past few years, I've found  myself in that situation quite a lot, I guess it's just been awhile.  And I'm not sure I've experienced it quite to that degree since coming to England. Though I could argue that there have been times I've been in a group of Northerners where I really couldn't follow much of what they were saying because of the strong accents and the different vocabulary they seem to use. But you get my drift.
    Both Tuesday and Wednesday afternoon we had about three hours of free time.  On Tuesday, I helped lead a big group of us for a hike up the "mountain."  I say "mountain" but really it was a walk up a hill (but to the Welsh and English, it's a mountain).  It was pretty steep in some parts and we were all quite winded once we made it to the top so I'd still consider it a hike. haha!  But I remembered that it was one of my favourite parts of the conference last year so I was excited to go again. Cefn Lea is kind of out in the middle of nowhere(it's a ways outside of Newtown) so the view from the top is (somewhat unexpectedly)absolutely stunning. It kind of reminds me of the view from Judith Peak, close to Lewistown, where you can see for miles and miles. Except the view in Wales has less pine trees and a lot more sheep.
I wish pictures could capture the grandeur of the majestic sight but I'm afraid its simply impossible(not to say that didn't stop me from trying). Standing up on the top, through the snapping wind, as I was hearing the others laughing with each other and shouting in different languages, watching them pose for pictures and sharing smiles, there was a sense of calm(albeit brief) that rushed over me.  I thought to myself, "Man, this Creation of God's is beautiful.  Well done, G."  At that moment there wasn't a single thing in the world that could've worried me or stressed me out. Although I was helping lead the group up, it was such a different feeling than when I'm leading young people in something because I knew I didn't really have to worry about keeping track of them, they were all old enough to take care of themselves.  (That might sound heartless but I just mean that I didn't have nearly as much responsibility because they were all young adults.) It seems that I've been having more and more of those moments where I experience utter calmness as I've been here.  I hang on to every moment of it as possible and I look forward to the next time I have such a feeling overcome me.
 I praise God for these moments.

some of the TFG Volunteers for 2012

 























Wednesday night is the annual talent show they call "The Fringe".  Last year I appeared in the show a few times as I did a swing dance with my Hungarian friend Peter, sang in the choir, and also did songs with the SPEC Team and the other YAGM.   This year I was asked to host the show with Nicole, a YAGM from California.  We were both excited but a bit nervous as she'd never hosted something like that and I've only had to with primary kids in the Loft.  Regardless, we had a blast. Our SPEC Team did a fun audience-participation song again and this time my dance partner was Hannes, from Germany.  We did a jive rather than east coast swing because that's what he's been dancing the last 4 years. (They're very similar, just a different basic step, so it wasn't too hard for me to pick it up.) Though we only had about an hour to put a routine together, and not to mention he was about 6 inches taller than me, we still had so much fun! (Check out my photo site oneearth.shutterfly.com for a video and more pictures) The talent show had an epic ending with this year's YAGM girls teaching everyone the Cotton Eyed Joe and dancing to the whole song. I was so proud of them.

Hannes & I jivin'

BIG Cotton Eyed Joe

   The last highlight of the conference, which I know I shared about last year as well, was the worship times we had together. We had an hour-long worship every evening, all with a different group of volunteers sharing their talents in the worship band and all with different speakers focusing on different topics.  The music was wonderful, of course, and I thoroughly enjoyed every one of the speakers, but I have to admit that one of my favourite parts had to be the Lord's Prayer.  Because in TFG, every time they say the Lord's Prayer, they invite people to say it in their own language.  So as I stood there, reciting the so-familiar words(doxology included, yay!  Often it isn't used in the Catholic church...), I could hear Hungarian, German, Swedish and Slovakian(at least).  I got shivers down my spine every time.  I just love the reminders like that which show us that we all can be saying the same thing, just in different words. Just as we can all be living for a similar purpose, just in different ways.  Just as we can all be walking towards the same destination, just taking different paths. Just as we can all be singing the same song, just with a different tune.
I praise God for these moments.

   The coach ride back was anything but boring.  Luckily, one of the guys from South Korea brought a travel guitar(the neck and strings are same size as normal but the body is much smaller). I sat in the back and it seemed there was an endless amount of guitar fanatics on the bus so there was never a quiet moment.  We had a little band going at one point with Pierce(from Georgia) on guitar, Malte(from Germany) on his kazoo, Cornelius(also German) on the egg shaker and I was playings the drum kit on the back of the seat in front of me.  We sang everything from worship music to country(whoo! Thank goodness for the southerners!)-it was such a blast. When we arrived in London, about 10 of us decided we weren't ready to part ways so we walked across the street and found a rather posh pub called The Bull.  At first we sat outside on the patio and enjoyed a pint and lots of laughter(of course we got weird looks from passersby as they could hear lots of American accent(I hate to admit but the 3 of us there were probably the loudest out of the group) , mixed with German, South Korean, Swedish and French.

Waving goodbye to some of the Germans

The the wind started to pick up and we moved inside to sit by the fire.  We stayed for almost three hours, telling stories and jokes and playing Jenga.  It was so comforting to just be able to hang out with friends I just met who I knew, somehow, it wouldn't be the last time I saw them. We all came from different backgrounds, different denominations, different cultures, yet we found so much in common. We could sit and talk for hours(just as we did over the four days) and still have things to talk about.

It's not every day you make friends like that. 
I praise God for these moments.

So, this is Christmas

As I write this, I sit in Starbucks, gazing out the big window, watching people walk by, thinking to myself, "Where has the last month gone?"

  As some of you know, I was fortunate enough to make a trip home for Christmas. I know some call me crazy because I had only been in England a month then I was back on a plane heading home for the holidays. But after spending Christmas away from home last year, I decided I couldn't miss it this year. Don't get me wrong, Christmas break last year was wonderful, especially because I got to go to Paris AND Edinburgh all within two weeks, and five out of the nine days I was in London in between, we didn't leave the house...or even get out of our pajamas. So yes, it was a very restful and wonderful break but without that time with my family, it just wasn't the same. To me, Christmas is such a special time to be with my loved ones and without our usual family holiday traditions, it hardly even feels like Christmas.
     The night before all of us took of for holiday, we had our big SPEC Advent dinner(our director, Jon, makes sure we all know it's and Advent dinner, because it wasn't Christmas yet).  The cooks spent all day(and the day before) preparing the big feast and that afternoon, us second-year volunteers got to decorate the whole dining room.  It's definitely the nicest  dinner we have all year so we like to go all out. We all got dressed up for the occasion, we had Mass at 6pm, then the feast began at 7pm.  It was just as much fun as I remember it from last year as we'd invited several friends of the community, some of them priests, some of them nuns, as well as all the support staff that work with us. Then after dinner we had a "Secret Santa" gift-exchange followed by a dance party that lasted a good four hours. Yes. We like to dance.

SPEC Community and friends

     This time traveling back(on December 15) I was lucky enough to have a travel partner.  Narquita, Jess and Ange all came over to spend Christmas in Minneapolis with Amelia(fellow SPEC YAGM from last year) and it so happened that Narquita and I were on the same flight over and Jess and Ange were to arrive the day after.  I forgot how much fun plane rides can be when you have someone you know to talk to.

look what I found downtown!
(outside of Brit's Pub)

  So my first four days back were spent in Minneapolis. Not only was I excited about spending time with the girls in my home country but I was also excited about seeing some of my old college friends.  I have to say, spending time in downtown Minneapolis has got to be one of my favorite things to do at Christmastime and I remember last year going through some withdrawal from not being able to be there at all. There's just something about seeing all the streets lit up with Christmas lights and seeing all the store-fronts decorated that fills me with such joy, it's hard to explain.  I think part of it is also that it reminds me of my four years of being in choir at Concordia and getting to spend time downtown with friends when we'd go to the cities for our Christmas concerts.
   It was so good to see my old roommates, Sean and Jenny and my good friend Matt and his family.  I really enjoyed the time to catch up with them and chat in real life, not just on Skype or Facebook. I do feel very fortunate to live in this era where international communication is so easily possible, but there's still a part of me that hungers for the real human interaction that comes only when you're physically in the same room as the other person, sitting in the chair right beside them. But talking across the ocean, through the tiny wires of my computer, which is relayed through the satellites, which is then shot back down to the cell towers, which is then sent to their phone, is definitely better than nothing.

*Sidenote:  I just saw the boys hockey team(field hockey, not ice hockey) from the school down the road just walk by...I definitely forgot where I was for a second and had a "Am-I-living-in-a-Harry-Potter-movie?!" moment...(I was tempted to take a picture but figured that probably would've creeped them out.)  Just thought I'd share.

   Amelia and I were trying to think of really "American" things we could do with the girls in Minneapolis and we figured what could be better than taking them to an American football game?!  I know the Vikings may be struggling for supporters this year but we figured we'd take what we could get so that Sunday before I left we headed to the Metrodome with a group of Amelia's friends from school(she's at Luther Seminary this year).  I've been to some Twins games before but never a Vikings game so I actually thought it was quite exciting too!  Forget the fact that the Saints whipped 'em, I still had a grand time.  I sat next to one of the guys who was from Norway so getting to chat with him made the game go much faster. (Which was good because Jess actually fell asleep because she was ill, so I didn't really have anyone to talk to.) I actually had to laugh about half-way through the first quarter when I realized just how much I've forgotten about the game because I don't watch much of it since I've moved over here. But I guess it is a bonus that my knowledge of soccer and rugby have improved greatly.

SPEC sisters at the Vikings game

   Words really cannot explain how good it felt to be back at my home church for Christmas.  Of course some things had changed a bit but getting to sing with the senior choir was just as powerful as ever. This year the choir's anthem was "I am So Glad Each Christmas Eve" in which we sang the first verse in Norwegian. I loved it! Every year the choir processes in with candles to sing "Silent Night" and every year I find myself clinging onto every word and every note, not wanting the song to end. While the senior choir always sings at both services, the Rainbow Choir (directed by my mom) sings at only the first.  I have to say that having kids up there during "Silent Night" is also one of my favorite parts of the service.  Watching them move so gently with their candles in hand, often gazing at them with such awe and wonderment, it seems to remind me of when I was that age, and I almost feel, just for a moment, that I can see the world through their eyes again. There's just something about the music and the flickers of candles reflecting on the faces, as we look back at the people in the congregation singing with us, that sincerely warms my heart.

After spending most of the afternoon and early evening at church, we headed home for our tradition Christmas Eve with Taco Soup and present-opening. I admit, the opening of presents was rather entertaining this year as we had my niece Hadlee(who turned two years old today!), and my nephew McKay (who will be 4 next month), there to open presents with us.  On the kids' most anxious night of the year, the anticipation and eagerness to finish our dinner was just heightened as they could not WAIT to see what was hiding for them underneath the tree. I'm pretty sure McKay's favorite present was his new tractors and it seemed that Hadlee's favorite was the cute little pink and purple sleeping bag my mom and dad got for her.  I found myself just sitting there, watching and smiling, and trying to remember what it felt like to be a little kid again.
What a blessing to have at such love and excitement and so much laughter at Christmas.

Hadlee(who had a fight with a coffee table) & McKay

    Unfortunately, my brother Justin and his wife Julie couldn't make it home from Minneapolis for Christmas(I don't know, something about a cruise down to Mexico for her cousin's wedding the week before then having to work Christmas Eve to make up for it...I guess that's legit) but they made it home on the 30th.  Originally, I was scheduled to leave on the 29th but after a lot of thinking and praying, I felt like I needed to stay longer.  I was really disappointed that I wouldn't have gotten to see them at all(they were on the cruise when I was in Minneapolis before I made it to MT) and I also would've had to miss the Kyle Shobe & the Walk 'em Boys New Year's Eve dance. I knew I was really going to regret it if I missed it.  Boy, am I glad I stayed.  It was such a blast! There's no better way I can think of spending my New Year's than dancing the night away to my brother's playing up on stage.  I've been listening to them play together since I was 2 years old. It's about time they started playing for bigger crowds.

Kyle Shobe & the Walk 'em Boys

  Another highlight of my Christmas holiday was that I got to go skiing TWICE...in one week!!!  Mom and I and my friend Ty drove up to Showdown the Tuesday before New Year's and I hit the slopes on my own while the other two hung out in the lodge and read some books(they needed an excuse to get away and escape up into the mountains so they came along).  It felt SO good to be skiing again! While I was at Concordia, I didn't get to the slopes very much, mainly just once or twice over Christmas when I'd be home and last year I didn't get to go at all.  It was a lovely day, and a much needed time-out for myself.  The Monday after New Year's Justin, Julie, their friend Steve and I headed back up to the mountain for the day and holy smokes! We couldn't have asked for a more beautiful day!  There was hardly anyone there because most schools were back in session. It was calmer than could be and the sun was shining gloriously all day! We didn't even need much of a coat really(which was good as I had accidentally left mine at home) which is quite odd for January in Montana.  But I guess we'll take all the sun we can get this time of year, right?

Justin & Julie at Showdown

   So after spending some truly quality family time, with the WHOLE family, it was time for me to head back to Billings and hop on the (6am) plane and make the trek back across the pond again. There were so many things to be thankful for this Christmas, it's hard to know where to start.  I will admit, I was a bit bummed I didn't get to see much snow(except at Showdown) but I think the grandeur of everything else made up for it about 12 times over.  I think above all else, I am most thankful for God giving me such an incredible family.  There's nothing better than sitting around the dinner table and realizing, while they might not completely understand me and why I do the things I do, they're always going to be there, loving me just the same.
   I also am so blessed that God has given me such extraordinary opportunities in this world.  Words cannot explain how grateful I am for the people he has placed in my life and for the places he's taken me.  I cannot wait to see what God has in store for me next.

Awesome God,
May you grant us peace in our hearts as we look forward into the new year and we eagerly await your leading us on your path. In this coming year, it is my hope that I find myself more often distracted by you rather than being distracted from you.  Please be with all those who have no family Lord, and help them to know that they are loved.  Pour out your spirit on those who doubt and question you Lord, on those who struggle to know you. Grant them the reassurance that no matter what we do, no matter what we say, you will always be there to love us just the same.
Amen.

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