Life happens.

As I write this, I’m sitting in my newfound favorite café- New York Bagel Bar in St. Albans.  As I write this, I’m also listening to the owner/manager/only worker, a gentle 20-something football (soccer) guy, break the news to 2 of his "regulars" that the shop sold last night, rather unexpectedly, and today is his last day of business.  Apparently, the place has been on the market for a while because, like any small shop these days, it hasn’t been getting as much business as it used to.  I would’ve thought that a place like this would’ve been crazy with customers because it’s one of the very few bagel shops in the area.  I guess bagels aren’t quite as popular here as they are in New York(or Fargo).  He knew this day would come, but you can still see he’s trying to hide his sheer disappointment as he has put everything he had into keeping this place going over the past few years.  I wasn’t afraid to show my disappointment.

Everything is half-price (which is crazy because it wasn’t that expensive to begin with).  He said he’s pullin’ out all the stops on the last day so he brought us all a frosted glass to drink out of.  He was right; Coke does take better out of an icy glass.   

I can’t really explain what weird emotion I’m feeling right now.  I know it sounds silly to be talking like this about a bagel shop, but seriously.  If you could try the bagels here, (and the coffee milkshakes…yum!) you would understand where I’m coming from.  The first time I walked in, I felt like I walked through a time warp and I was back in Fargo.  The brick walls and dark furniture create a modern and cozy atmosphere that is quite similar to one of my favorite coffee shops back home.

........

Well that was a fascinating conversation I just had.  This man walked in, dressed in a nice blue suit coat, looking very business-like, and after ordering his food sat down at the table next to me.  He said he was a regular here and was sad to see this place go.  He quickly recognized my American accent and asked what I was doing about this part of the country. He’s a psychology teacher at the Saint Albans school down the road and he’s also conducting studies at University City of London.  He chuckled when I told him I had started studying psychology at university but 2 ½ years into it, changed my major because it was too much "science" for me.  Before we knew it, he’d moved over to sit at my table and we were talking about living in different cultures and he was sharing tales of his travels with me. He said he can't really think of many places in the world where he hasn't been.  When I told him I’d been to India, he said he owns some land there and he hopes to build a school someday.  He’s currently working on his plan to help some schools that are already over there.  The schools here throw out thousands of pounds worth of computers and equipment every year, simply because they become “out of date” and they want the most updated technology equipment.   His plan is to rescue the equipment and have it sent over in different sea containers (or whatever they call them) that have extra space so they can go to schools that can use them over there, no matter how “out of date” they are.  What a genius idea.  He had to run when he saw that his students, who were sitting two tables over eating their lunch, were getting ready to leave. He wished me luck, and I did the same to him.

It’s funny how life can happen unexpectedly. 

The owner/manager/only worker just brought me a coffee milkshake and a brownie.  He really is pulling out all the stops.

Like I said, it’s funny how things can hit you so unexpectedly.  He said he’s already had two job offers today, so that must be a good sign.  He said he’s not sure how he feels right now, he doesn’t know if he’s supposed to feel happy or sad.  I informed him he makes the best milkshakes out of any one I’ve had in the whole town, which made him smile. 

For me, there’s been a few smaller, unexpected turns in the last few days.  Yesterday we had a group of 82 year 9(8^th grade) girls and the day before, a group of 58 girls, in from Sacred Heart Language College, which is about 20 minutes down the road.  It was interesting in that usually we’d run year 9 days out of Loft Towers but because the group was so big, we ran it in the SPEC building.  It’s amazing how working in a different building can totally change the feel of the day.  Also, the difference in the age of year 9 and year 10 girls is so fascinating to me.  I was running the drama session, which gives them a chance to think about the different pressures in life, focusing mainly peer pressure, and how they handle different situations.  In groups of 4 or 5, they’re supposed to act out a scene that shows an example of peer pressure.  Usually it’s not a very popular session, because the word “drama” tends to scare many students away at that age.  Yesterday, I ran the sessions four times, and the first three times it was packed full.  The girls got so into it- it was amazing!  Not only were they excited about the acting, but they were also totally focused and tuned in to the discussion, which is usually quite rare.

In the first session, when I was still trying to get over the fact that I had almost 25 girls who wanted to be there, I was blown away by the responses the girls were giving.  Oftentimes, after each drama, I will ask them where the peer pressure came in and where they saw God in the situation.   It is up to them whether their character gives in to the pressure or not, so there was one group that chose to have their character stand their ground and not give in.  After they finished and sat down, I wasn’t sure they quite understood what I was getting at with the questions but then one of the girls surprised me when I asked where God was in the situation.  She blurted out, “He helped her be a shepherd, not a sheep” and I think she surprised herself too because she had a look on her face like, “Whoa, where’d that come from?”  I smiled as I looked to the other girls in the group and I swear the room got a little bit brighter from all the light bulbs that had just turned on.  That was all it took for their eyes to be opened to what I was hoping they would find in the session.

It’s funny how things like that can hit you when you don’t expect it.

Monday afternoon, about 4:30, Terry (our Assistant Director) asked Erik(fellow Minnesotan Lutheran) and I if we’d be okay to lead Praise and Worship for Community Prayer at 5.  We said we’d love to so we scurried upstairs to have a look through the songbook.  We’re used to leading Praise and Worship every Friday which sometimes a bit interesting because we’ll often be coming off a retreat or we’ll be gearing up for a weekend residential so we’re not always the most organized, we usually just end up wingin’ it,  rather “letting the Spirit guide us.”  We decided that the sun was shining too beautifully to stay inside so we grabbed our stuff and headed out to the Cross Field.  I was a little bummed at first when I realized only about five people would be at Prayer that night, because I was ready to worship with the community! But it turned out everyone else was off for the day or they were working with the Loft group that was in.  My disappointment quickly faded when I found myself able to be more present in the worship that I’ve been in a long time. Sometimes I get nervous when I have to lead things like that because, if you’ve ever seen me try to sing alone in front of people, it rarely goes very smoothly as my nerves tend to get the best of me almost every time.  However, this time it didn’t even phase me that it was mainly me and Erik singing along with his guitar strumming. Standing at the foot of the huge cross, I felt God’s presence all around me.  Being outside in the sunshine, with a gentle breeze blowing through, belting out some of my favorite songs.  It was one of the best Praise and Worships I’ve had all year.  Funny how that happens when you don’t expect it.   

This year has been full of so many spontaneous happenings.  I thank God for every one of them as I learn from each one to grow in patience and perseverance.  I pray that your life may be filled with unexpected blessings. 

Sunshine, Community, and Butterflies

   Two weeks ago we packed 17 of us in the SPEC minibus(van) and 5 in the SPEC car and headed down the road about an hour to the Sion Community in Brentwood for our weekend Team Retreat.  We spent the three days singing, dancing, praying, talking about "Vocation," throwing water balloons at each other, studying Scripture, and having some quality bonding time together as community.  It truly was the perfect weekend to have just before our Easter break began. Father Richard, the priest who came to the Loft retreat I worked on, was with us Friday night and Saturday morning and he shared with us the story of his faith journey and his calling.  It was rather fascinating to me as it was his travels to India when he was 18 that seemed to spark his faith and open his eyes to God's love.  I could identify with a lot of what he had felt as my month in India was beyond powerful for me; words cannot begin to explain the impact that month had on my life.
    After Fr. Richard shared his stories with us, he put us to a challenge.  He explained how it was a common practice in the monastic tradition and he wanted us to have the opportunity to experience God in a different way. So, we were to continue the rest of the evening in silence and keep the silence until Morning Prayer the following day.  This meant turning mobile phones off as well, no calling and no texting. Of course, this was going to be more challenging for some more than others, especially since we were all sharing rooms with one or two other people.  The purpose of the silence was for us to have some time for refection and spend some time with our own thoughts and let me tell you, good reflection time it was.  At first it was a little awkward not talking to Leanna(my roommate) but the awkwardness only lasted about five minutes and then I realized I actually needed the silence more than I thought.  I spent the time thinking over what Father Richard had shared with us, I thought about what this year has meant for me, and I thought about where I want to go after this and what I feel I'm being called to do. You know..."vocation" stuff.  After morning prayer the following day, when we could speak again, I actually felt quite peaceful and content, I didn't really feel the need to start talking right away or share a whole lot of what I had discovered in the silence.
   Our second day was full of sunshine, music, and prayer. And yes, even included a huge water fight out on the lawn that lasted all of 45 minutes.  That evening we had a talent show where each of the three small groups shared something they had prepared together.  My group, "Ange's Angels" (Ange is on staff, she's our group leader) wrote a song/poem including a line for every member of community.  I was proud of the creativity of the Angels.
After the talent show, we did some praise in worship, all huddled in a circle in the lounge room we had access to. It was one of the most powerful praise and worship nights we've had, the sense of community bonding was incredible and the presence of God was so extraordinary. I didn't want the singing to end(I never do).
    The next morning we got our bags packed and headed into the Chapel for Mass.  As we opened the doors to the Chapel we were greeted by the sounds of children's laughter and little feet pattering across the carpet.  We didn't know it but we had been lucky enough to be at Sion for once a month Children's Mass.  Whereas we're used to Mass at SPEC being quiet and calm, that day we were filled with the joy of love and livelihood of children. I had to work hard to hold my giggles in when a little boy started walking up the aisle to sit right in front of us, and he was dragging a giant stick behind him(he must've gotten it from the trees outside on the lawn). He turns to his sister, a few years older than him, and with great big eyes, says "Look how BIG this stick is!"  and just plops down beside her and starts humming to the music. A smile spread across my face and I got goosebumps as Sunday School memories came rushing back to me. The guy on the guitar had started singing "If I Were a Butterfly" which I haven't heard in ages. As the service hadn't quite started yet, I figured it was okay to have a bit of fun so I started doing the actions I remembered and got some of the others to do them with me.  The guy singing went through the first verse and chorus then faded out and waited for Mass to start.  When the time came for us to sing that song during the service, he introduced the song and said "We're going to have some of the SPEC Team stand up here in the front and lead us in the actions."  Of course, everyone claimed they had no recollection of ever learning them so it was just Hannah, Jess and myself, standing up front, showing our butterfly wings, and how our little birdies sing.  I couldn't stop smiling as it took me straight back to my Sunday School days and of when I would help lead children's music at Zion Lutheran.  Of course, I didn't really know any of the children at the Sion Community that day, but I still felt a  connection that I can't really explain. Watching them smiling and wiggling their tails and giggling with glee, I couldn't help but smile myself.
  That morning was such a blessing for me. The whole service was so great for all of us. It was a reminder of how we all start so small and we all end up in places we never expect.  It was a reminder of the greatness of God our Creator, and how much love He puts into creating each one of us, extraordinarily unique and individual. But above all, it was a reminder of the beauty of childlike wonder.  
I thank God for the gift of laughter.