Silence.

  A couple of weeks ago our team had a retreat for ourselves. It was led by Father Richard, one of my favorite priests I've got to know here(he led us in our 2 retreats last year as well). But this one was what is called a Silent Retreat in which you are, of course, silent.  So for approximately 48 hours, 22 of us refrained from talking, texting, Facebooking, e-mailing, and any other kind of communication with those around us as well as those in the "outside world."  There was only one kind of communication we were encouraged to use: prayer.  The quiet time was meant to be time for us to spend with God relaxing, reflecting, and listening.  Father Richard suggested that we not even try reading, unless it was the Bible of course, but rather just use the time to be present in the silence.  Don't get me wrong, I really have come to enjoy such reflection times but I will admit, after about hour 28, I found it a bit challenging.  We were given the freedom to wander wherever we wanted on-site and every couple of hours we'd join back together for a time in the "oasis" in which Father Richard would share some more thoughts and we could share some reflections with each other.  Listening to what people were getting out of the silence was absolutely astounding. What a blessed 48 hours.

  The first day was beautiful as the sun was shining gloriously almost the whole day.  That morning, during our first few hours of silence, I went and sat on the bench in the Cross Field.  As I sat there, trying to calm my mind and get used to the idea of not doing anything but being, my mind was flooded by the beautiful scene around me.  As I sat there soaking up the sunshine, there were a few times that people walked by, heading out into the field.  As I watched them, I decided I needed to write down the thoughts in my head. So I did. I didn't read back over it until just a few days ago(and the retreat was about 3 weeks ago). I don't even know where some of the things came from but I'm pretty sure it wasn't just random thoughts I had in my head. God knew what I needed to hear.  I think I was needing to hear it for quite some time.  I guess it just took me a while to be able to find enough silence to listen.

If you ever go on a Silent Retreat, you'll understand.

Here's what I wrote:

  ~The sun is shining. The birds are chirping. Spring is showing its face.  

In the distance, I hear machines labouring away, determined to finish the job.

Its as if we're in a race.

A race with time.

As planes fly overhead, I ask myself, "Where are they going? What are they seeking?"

The trees are bare but there are small signs of new life. Rebirth. True life. Natural wonder. Hope.

What is it that the trees seek? Do they wish they were flowers? Do they wish they were bird? No. They are content. They have roots. They stand strong. They provide shade. They give a place for the birds to make their homes. They seek nothing. Nothing but love. To whom do they look to for such love? Their Creator.

The Almighty and Powerful. 

They receive the breath of life so that they might give it to us in return.  

As I look up, I see blue. Not a single cloud except the path of exploration left by the planes. 

As I look out past the cross, I see darkness. There are clouds that hold questions.  Questions of the future. 

Questions of life. 

What is it that they seek? 

For what are they searching? 

As I look to the cross I see family. The girls are sitting in quietude and I sense a searching. 

A search within. 

For what are they searching?

I see my sisters in Christ. I see what represents for me the epitome of true love.  The kind of love to be shared by a family.

I see love.

The love that holds us together. The love that wraps us into life. 

For what is that love searching for? 

Nothing. 

For love does not search. 

Love is found.

Later, I went to the cross and sat down in the grass in front of it. As I looked up, this is what I saw.

~The sun rays pierce the cloud like light pierces through water. 

Reflecting and enlightening and opening our eyes.

You're opening our eyes to the heavens, to paradise above.

It is the arrival there that we eagerly await. 

It is there we hope for a discovery of true fulfillment. 

Peace. 

True peace. 

And love.

A never-ending, never-failing, unconditional, always present, all-knowing, all-powerful, never-judging, always living, never fake, only real, life-giving, hope-giving, 

true.

love.

That evening, after we ate a quiet meal, I found myself in the field once again.

   

 ~As the sun sets down over the treetops, I see green and yellow splattered among the trees and bushes.  I hear the birds calling out to each other as if to say, "Spring is here! Rejoice!"

I feel a gentle breeze hushing through the crisp evening air and as the sky lightens, it, too, turns to golden yellow-the colour of comfort and warmth.

Its as if its reassuring us, "Don't worry, I'll be back again tomorrow." 

The trees stand tall and majestic, eagerly awaiting their new clothes.

The earth is softened and awaits the blooming of the daffodils.  

The grass stands there, unshaven and unkempt, showing how hard its been worked over the season.

No matter where I look, I see hope.

Hope for regrowth.

Hope for new life.
Hope for more light.

tomorrow.